My Same-Sex Attraction Has an Answer

But it’s the answer God gives all of us.

When I wrote my first article on being a same-sex-attracted Christian, what surprised me most were the emails I started receiving from straight men. The notes often came from men my parents’ age, the same message nestled again and again into my inbox: “I never expected this to help me.”

People attracted to the opposite sex read about same-sex attraction for many reasons. Sometimes a pastor wants to disciple a young man who experiences same-sex attraction. Sometimes a woman wants to know how to love a sister who identifies as lesbian and has left the church. Still others simply want to think biblically about trends they see in the culture around them. But what they don’t usually expect, it seems, is commentary that helps them in their own fight for the obedience of faith.

My latest book, Born Again This Way: Coming Out, Coming to Faith, and What Comes Next, is meant to help same-sex-attracted Christians thrive in Jesus and also help others come alongside us in our journeys. But Christians who experience same-sex attraction are asking questions that tap into some very universal streams. God has made all of us embodied desirers, and as sinners who fall short of his glory (Rom. 3:23), we have similar challenges spring-loaded into our systems.

First, we all need to test our desires against the same target: Christ.

In the book, I wrestle in public with a very private experience: Many of us who love Jesus cannot shake romantic and sexual desire for those of our same gender. That desire is so potent that it can look and feel like our rightful master, and we wonder if we should bow down and serve.

But doesn’t that same siren call reach for all of us, in some way or another? Whether our desires are targeted ...