A Sanctuary for Each Other: The Protective Power of Clergy Marriages

By amazon Tuesday, November 19, 2019 Comment Edit

For couples, finding sanctuary with each other and together with God can be a source of survival in high-stress ministry environments.

Ecclesiastes 4:9: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?"

Clergy mental health has emerged as an important topic in recent months and has ignited valuable conversation about what pastors can do to attend to their own emotional and spiritual well-being. While important, an exclusively individualistic emphasis can miss perhaps one of the most important resources for mental health available to ministry professionals: the marital relationship.

For couples, finding sanctuary with each other and together with God can be a source of survival in high-stress ministry environments.

Marriage can serve as a refuge and a place of safety from the stressors of high visibility, congregational conflict, professional isolation, and compassion fatigue. McMinn and colleagues, in their review of research on pastor’s health and coping, found that exemplar pastors identified their marital relationship as an essential part of their spiritual and psychological health.

The researchers proposed that marriage is an especially important refuge for those in ministry because of the difficulties of finding confidential, close friendship and peer relationships where honest and vulnerable feelings, fears, and doubts can be shared.

For couples and families called to full-time ministry, the marital relationship can be a protected and sacred space of connection, trust, and sharing of burdens.

A recent survey of pastors’ spouses found that while most report a high level of marital satisfaction, nearly half indicate ...